Representation through three lenses

Zara Relphman reflects on the different perspectives with which she approached her role on the Reflecting Disability review team.

When I first heard about the Reflecting Disability project I immediately knew I wanted to be involved. I have always been very passionate about disability representation in the publishing industry, so I feel a project such as this one is essential. Until now, there has been a real lack of research, data and statistics relating to disability in children’s publishing. This was the case for authors, stories, characters and employees. So the new Reflecting Disability report is vital to putting more information out there, and will hopefully continue to provide this on an annual basis.

I originally heard about the ‘review team’ opportunity through my university: I am an MA Publishing student at Oxford Brookes. I knew it would be a wonderful experience to support my degree, but was also interested because I am disabled and an author. I knew the project would be informative to me in all aspects.

In the beginning, I thought my three different backgrounds would tie together neatly, allowing me to review the books with ease. However, this was not the case as each of my identities had its own nuances. I ended up feeling different ways about different aspects of the review process depending on which of my ‘lenses’ I was viewing it through. 

As an Author

Approaching the review process as an author felt quite challenging. For me personally, I worry about a lot of things in my writing. I want to create work that is authentic and researched but there is a fear that people will still be disappointed or point out that something is incorrect. This is something that I felt conscious of as I was reviewing these books against the framework. An author works so hard on a story and I wondered how I would feel to have my work examined at this level of detail.

As I thought about that, I realised how much of an honour it would be. To see other authors so boldly advocate for different disabled realities in their writing was inspiring. There is nothing brave about representing disabled people in books, it should be the norm, but there is bravery in the pursuit of understanding. I believe this experience has emboldened me as an author to continue creating stories that advocate.

There may always be room for improvement, but that is why we must keep the conversation open and honest. 

At the end of the day, that is what this project is about. Authors and illustrators that are willing to learn and improve through positive and constructive feedback are the reason the publishing industry is progressing to a more inclusive place.

I felt like my own experience as an author helped me to better connect with the writing of the books I reviewed. I have always felt connected with the flow of language in a story and it felt easy to identify when that flow was impacted and what it was impacted from. I didn’t review them as a reader but as if I were to have written the story myself; placing myself in the author’s shoes and trying to develop an understanding of what each book was trying to portray. This project has broadened my literary landscape as well and given me the opportunity to immerse myself into different perspectives and writing styles that I otherwise may have never experienced.

As a Publishing Student

From this perspective, reviewing the books felt exciting. I was looking at titles that I had heard of or from authors that I recognised. My degree has been about learning the industry, but being on the review team felt like I had taken a step into the publishing world and was getting to experience it first-hand. This project is so important for publishing and publishers – it will make a difference for years to come. Getting to be a part of it feels so rewarding this early on in my career.

The review process was very collaborative. Being able to discuss with one another and openly voice our perspectives on a book was one of my favourite elements. It surprised me how I could see something one way and someone else the complete opposite. Having these chats not only kept the process unbiased but it made me take a step back from each book and view it as a collective mindset, rather than just my own. One thing that I have learnt in my degree is that publishing is a team effort; so being a part of this experience has really highlighted how that lesson translates into the real world.

I felt that my critical thinking and industry knowledge from my studies could better help me identify certain qualities against the framework. Being able to pick out tropes, even if subtle, and ascertaining if they may be intentional or accidental depending on the tone of the rest of the book. As well as understanding positioning tactics: has a book been downplayed to fit with a certain market/age bracket; or has it been overtly described as diverse but the content inside doesn’t clearly portray that. Having my degree felt useful, but everything I knew was elevated by the framework and training we were given. My skills are stronger now than before and I will be able to carry what I have learnt with me through the rest of my publishing career.

As a disabled person

Reviewing from my own perspective as a disabled person felt very personal. Even if I didn’t necessarily personally relate to the specific content, it felt as though I was hanging on to every single word. When I was a child, 20 years ago, there were no books that had someone like me in them. This continued into my teen years and now into adulthood.

To this day I have not read a fiction book with a character like me in it.

It was, and is, an isolating experience to only read stories where the main character is nothing like you. To review these books that had so much representation and difference in them… I was amazed. Not every book was perfect and more work needs to be done to reach true authentic inclusion, but the point is that there is progress, incredible progress that 5-year-old me never would have dreamed of.

The whole reason for this project is to help the industry so it can further progress with the quality of representation it produces. I have learnt that reviewing these books as a disabled person was quite difficult.

It was hard to find a balance between feeling elated at any kind of representation and then feeling angry when it seemed like not enough. But every time I felt like that, I had to remember that the publishing industry is learning. 

Whilst it shouldn’t be down to disabled individuals to wait for them to improve, these books are a positive sign. By being a part of the review team now, I can help make sure that stories are better for disabled children in the future.

As a disabled person I felt like I could understand the content better. Through my lived experience I was able to recognise if something was thrown in on a whim or when a story had been thoroughly researched. I could really experience the books as a reader would and I kept thinking back to how my younger self would have felt reading it. This was very useful for being able to look at different aspects or quality of representation in a story. However, in the past, I would not have found the correct language to use. I already had the tools in my toolkit but the Reflecting Disability training acted as my instruction manual, giving me the knowledge to precisely apply my insight into the book reviews.

---

Whilst my different identities did prove to be conflicting at points… overall, I believe they complimented one another. I didn’t feel rigid in my approach to reviewing because I was able to look at a book with three different mindsets and apply what I discovered against the framework.

Being a disabled author and publishing student is quite tricky to navigate in the real world; I am often disregarded or struggle for opportunities that my non-disabled peers can easily reach. Being a part of the review team has been so important to me because I know I am involved in something powerful.

What I bring to the table by being those three identities is seen to have value in a space like this; that value gives me the confidence to keep pushing, dreaming and advocating for myself, as well as others. 

I feel that I am a better author now than I was before beginning this project due to the insight and training I received and that I can apply into my own stories. I know that I am a better publishing student because I have gained incredible knowledge and understanding of the industry from this experience that I can carry forward into my career. I will be a better disabled person, not only towards others, but towards myself – from learning about different disabled realities, inclusive language and being surrounded by like-minded individuals showing nothing but understanding and empathy. I have provided a unique perspective to the review stage of this project, but in return I have gained something way more valuable… showing 5-year-old me that she is important and that there is an abundance of people out there who are fighting to make sure stories like hers are being told.